Dream big, they would say.

Have vision.

Have goals.

Never settle for less.

So there I was, 

daydreaming and night thinking.

because that’s what dreamers do,

they keep dreaming.

Maybe keeping the head in the clouds too much,

till the point that I became a wanderer.

Breathing new air.

Going from one place to another. 

Because also they would say, 

go to the place where you feel the most alive.

So eventually I found myself living a new life.

Feeling at peace,

wild and free,

yet the urge of running away

chasing me from time to time.

Feeling that the place hasn’t welcomed me entirely

because there’s always a time frame.

So it is true, seeking another life forces you to,

sometimes, 

lose the sight of all that familiar comfort of friends,

family, love,

and a home.

You are off balance. 

Nothing belongs to you except some dreams,

the air, the sky,

the earth.

And you find yourself packing all your clothes, 

while getting rid of some.

Throwing away so many things 

because the space is not enough.

Moving to places you don’t even know.

Trying multiple beds,

multiple pillows.

Yet craving that homey feeling

wherever you go.

Now you tell me, 

why haven’t I been able to feel at home in each country I go? 

There’s always this feeling of not knowing what is next. 

Running out of time to settle down. 

Sometimes feeling like a daisy who’s not grounded anymore. 

Feeling like I was forced to keep wandering by nature

because I had no other option.

Then I stop for a moment and realize that

it has indeed been a while 

since I haven’t felt at home.

It’s been a while since I haven’t been able to make myself comfortable 

knowing that nothing is taking me away from that place. 

And the same way the ocean removes the shells from the shore,

I can sense my footprints fading way.

And I’m aware the way my heart shatters 

every time 

I have to say goodbye.

And yes, 

we must take adventures to find the place

where we truly belong.

Oh, but all the places you’ll go.

There’s a moment 

of saying “this is enough”.

No more wandering.

No more goodbyes.

No more broken hearts, 

and broken dreams.

I crave that sense of belonging.

I am asking  to fit in.

To blend in.

And I just know that I know nothing,

and all these words

are coming from the bottom of my heart.

From myself to you.

-the wanderer (A.K.A Diana)

Ps. I tell myself «I don’t want to be the wanderer anymore» «How could I call myself then?»

Breathing dreams like air.