I didn’t realize how much it bothers me to talk about Christmas.

My plan originally was to do a trip somewhere so that I could feel that at least I was doing something and I wasn’t alone sadly at home.

However, I canceled my trip to Rome and postponed it for next year when my family comes, which actually is pretty nice and am looking forward to it!

But… that leaves nothing left planned for me for Christmas.

And I just realized that a way to pretend that everything is alright is acting normally and asking for suggestions to do something for those days. But deep down I feel sad and scared to know that I won’t have family or loved ones around me for Christmas.

This year it will only be me.

I’m in Paris, yes, and that excites me. However, it’s never nice to spend the most amazing time of the year alone…