I had a flashback yesterday night while I was looking at my pictures on my phone. I was able to recall some of my precious memories and then thought «Man, I haven’t written in a while. I used to love it!»

So I experienced a very warm and nostalgic feeling in my heart. I read some of my old posts and realized that having my posts on this blog with updates, pictures and thoughts is a good way of getting in touch with myself. It’s like having a personal mirror where I am able to see every part of myself; the way I’ve grown, all my pains, adventures and emotions as well.

And here I am! 2022, back in Mexico. A lot of people probably don’t even know. I’ve been so good at being quiet. I guess I just haven’t had that urge of talking. I don’t want to maintain a deep conversation with someone who is digging on my past. I need time to decompress. I need time to let go all the pain I experienced again.

It’s hard to remain calm these days. It’s been like riding a rollercoaster so far…

I just didn’t see it coming, you know? Coming back home after spending a beautiful holiday season in Mexico with my loved ones, we found out that I only had 10 more days to pack my stuff and leave. -Temporarily- But it was still shocking, painful, traumatizing, unknown, unexpected.

Then you ask yourself: Am I strong enough to handle so much pain?

And the answer is: Yes. I am strong enough.

But the next question comes: How?

And that’s what I haven’t figured out. I’m in the process of finding myself again. I’m in the process of getting some answers. And faith. And hope.

I’ve been so consumed; lost on my own thoughts and emotions, that I haven’t even had time to think about the importance of being present. I’ve been stuck in the past.

It’s been hurting. I’m scared.

How are people supposed to overcome something like this?

Where am I supposed to get all the strength from?

I’m just scared.